Fairytale Princess? Take Charge of Your Life
When I was in college, I was severely depressed. The result wasn’t pretty: a relationship with a guy that took me for granted, less than ideal grades and a lot of waffling about my future. During that time, I read a lot of self-help books, trying to figure out how to regain my happiness, or at least not be so miserable. The self-help books didn’t really help, quite frankly. Turns out that you can can’t just read your way out of depression. But it seems, after all these years, that the advice I received at the time stuck with me.
“If I’m paying for it, I’m going to order it the way I want it.” This advice actually came from aforementioned guy. He was a schmuck about it, but he wasn’t totally off-base. In simplest form, yes, I do now order my food the way I want it. I’m sure I’m the bane of fine chefs everywhere. But the deeper message is this: Ask for what you want. And I don’t mean in a pushy, make-the-other-person-feel-guilty sort of way. Sometimes you have to respect that it’s not appropriate or even kind to ask for what you want, but generally, there is no harm in just putting a wish out there in the universe. To continue the metaphor, it’s silly to eat a meal gagging on the mustard when it’s just as easy for them to leave it off.
“Never rely on a man to make you happy.” Ironically, this came from the aforementioned guy’s mother. While we were dating. Was that a sign? Most certainly. But the deeper message is this: You are responsible for your own happiness. More importantly: You are responsible for your own life and life choices. And perhaps, most importantly: No one else is responsible for you, making you happy, or making your dreams come true.
“Stop waiting around like some fairytale princess and get on with [your] life.” This gem comes from a book called The Tao of Inner Peace by Diane Dreher. As dramatic as it may sound, this book literally changed my life. I’m still feeling the impact of her interpretation of the Tao Te Ching to this day. Coincidentally, this also could refer to my relationship with a certain guy – and at one time it did – but now it has other connotations. It’s a more active version of the previous quote. The deeper meaning: Not only do you need to take responsibility for your life and your actions, you need to claim that responsibility and act on it. If you aren’t happy with something, change it. If you want something, go after it. And if someone stands in your way (or simply ignores you), go around them.
People occasionally ask me how/why I’m such a confident person. The truth is that I’m probably not as confident as I seem. But, 1) I believe that I am just as good as (if not occasionally better than) anyone else and, 2) I follow the above advice wholeheartedly. The result is that I’m not particularly tied to other people’s opinions of me and I don’t rely on other people’s approval to feel good about myself. I’m not going to bore you with how I got where I am, but I’ve just tried to turn adversity into strength.
Over the past 6 months to a year, I’ve been complaining a lot about a few things happening in the mom blog arena. I decided that it was time to quit complaining and create the blogging life I want for myself. I’ve got a few projects in the works that I’m excited about and it has been inspiring to throw all of my energy into positive things. I have no intention of being the blogging version of the fairytale princess.
This post is for my daughter, really. LadyBug, if there is one thing I want to pass on you, it is the strength to stand, confidently, on your own two feet.
You may also like
Related posts:
Archives
- December 2022
- November 2022
- December 2018
- October 2018
- June 2018
- April 2018
- November 2017
- October 2017
- August 2017
- June 2017
- May 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- September 2016
- June 2016
- March 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
Calendar
M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 2 | |||||
3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 |
24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
Leave a Reply